From Million-Dollar Business to Code: My Unexpected Journey Back to Developer Life
How I Learned That True Success Isn’t Always What It Seems
Have you ever achieved what society deems as “success,” only to feel like a failure inside? That was me — the proud owner of a million-dollar business, yet feeling more lost than ever. This is the story of how I shut down my thriving company to rediscover my passion for coding, and the valuable lessons I learned along the way.
The Illusion of Success
Picture this: I’m running a successful service-based business, bringing in seven figures annually. By all external measures, I’ve “made it.” I should be ecstatic, right? Instead, I found myself constantly comparing my journey to tech giants like Shopify or successful entrepreneurs like Liam Martin and Aydin Mirzaee.
I thought I needed to be someone I’m not — a finance wizard, a people manager, a charismatic leader always ready with the perfect strategy. But that wasn’t me. That was never me.
The Real Me: A Developer at Heart
What I truly love is the zen of coding. The magic of creating new technology. The rush of solving complex problems with elegant solutions. My ADHD brain craves novelty and the dopamine hit of watching my code come to life.
But leadership, especially in a service-based business, demands consistency and process. It requires a different set of skills and a different kind of personality. I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and it was slowly crushing my spirit.
The Breaking Point
For years, I pushed through. Fueled by ego and determination, I built my business bigger and bigger. I embodied what I thought an entrepreneur should be, ignoring the voice inside that was screaming for change.
But everything changed on a beach in Costa Rica.
Picture this: I’m lying on the sand, the warm ocean lapping at my feet. I’m 10 hours from the nearest airport, living out of a backpack, my trusty motorcycle parked nearby. Two beautiful women I met a few nights ago are lounging beside me. And I’m high on acid.
This wasn’t the life of a “successful” entrepreneur. This was the adventure my younger self had always craved but never allowed himself to have, too busy trying to be something “great.”
As I lay there, the waves synchronizing with my breath, a profound realization washed over me: This is exactly where I should be. This is exactly what I should be doing.
In that moment of clarity, I knew I needed to shut down my business. It wasn’t making me happy or fulfilled. To make it a “success,” I had become someone I didn’t even like — or at least someone I thought I had to be.
At first, I dismissed these thoughts as drug-induced delusions. But as the high faded, the truth of my realization remained. The insights into my life, my happiness, and what I truly wanted were undeniable.
I had learned a crucial lesson: burnout isn’t from doing too much of what you love. It’s from doing too much of what you hate.
It took this transformative experience — years of self-reflection culminating in an eye-opening acid trip in Costa Rica — to finally accept what I needed to do: shut down my business and return to my passion — being a great developer.
The Lessons Learned
This journey taught me several valuable lessons:
- Success has many faces: Don’t let others define what success should look like for you. Your path is unique, and that’s okay.
- Self-awareness is crucial: Know your strengths, weaknesses, and what truly energizes you. It’s the key to long-term fulfillment.
- It’s okay to change course: Growth often means letting go of what no longer serves you, even if it looks impressive on paper.
- There’s more than one way to build things in this world: As a developer, I can still create value, innovate, and make an impact. I just need to do it in a way that aligns with who I am.
The Return to Code
Now, as I sit at my computer, diving deep into new technologies and crafting elegant solutions, I feel a sense of peace I haven’t experienced in years. Yes, I left behind a million-dollar business. But I gained something far more valuable: alignment with my true self.
A Call to Reflection
If you’re reading this and feeling a resonance with my story, I encourage you to take a step back and reflect:
- Are you pursuing success as defined by others, or as defined by your authentic self?
- What activities make you lose track of time because you’re so engrossed?
- If money were no object, what would you choose to do with your days?
Remember, it’s never too late to pivot. To realign. To choose a path that feels true to you.
In Conclusion
Success isn’t about the size of your business or the impressiveness of your title. It’s about waking up every day excited about the work you’re going to do. It’s about leveraging your unique strengths and passions to create value in the world.
For me, that means embracing my identity as a developer. It means choosing the zen of coding over the chaos of entrepreneurship. And I’ve never been happier.
What does it mean for you?
Have you ever felt successful on paper but unfulfilled inside? How did you handle it? Share your experiences in the comments below.